Letting Anger In
Here’s my latest Substack and I hope you listen as well as read the poem. If it brings up anything for you. please let me know.
Welcome to some new subscribers who’ve recently arrived thanks to Sez Kristiansen. I hope you and everyone here get something valuable from at least some of these posts.
This time, after my “Letting Grief In” poem last week, I thought I’d move on to Anger; then I’ll look at Fear and Joy. These are the four “big” emotions that I find it helpful to navigate as, between them, they cover many other emotions we might name such as worry, anxiety, irritation, sadness, happiness and so on.
As last week there are two parts; the first is quite generic and the second more specific, focussing on an angry man (something I know a bit about). Again you could try reading it with yourself in mind, replace “he” with “I” and see where it takes you, perhaps into what you learnt as a child about anger and what does, and doesn’t, lead to anger in your adult life. Does it scare you? Can you find a way to channel it into something constructive instead of the more typical destructive route anger can take? And so on. I’d love to hear comments and read your poem if you write one.
Part 1
Anger knocks at the door
No, they cry, go away, leave us alone
We’re not allowed to be angry
*
Anger keeps knocking at the door
They peer through the window and wonder
“Is this so bad”
*
Anger still knocks
They open the door, cautiously curious
And really rather scared
And say ”Come in”
*
Anger enters and they speak
Moving through the rooms chatting
Anger sits at the kitchen table
They make tea and offer cake
*
The more they talk with Anger
The more glad they are for the visit
The more they see how valuable this is
*
By letting Anger in
They allow their own anger to move through them
They learn to shout and rant and rage
This hurts and also cleanses
*
They feel so vulnerable
And yet so empowered
And also loved
*
They realise that by excluding Anger
They also close to the focus, the purpose, the passion
That can accompany Anger
*
By opening to Anger
They open to the passion
That they have within
Hidden away
*
Until Anger enters
And holds hands with passion
When they can do magical things
Part 2
Anger knocks at the door
He welcomes it
He’s so angry with so many things and so many people
*
Isn’t this the manly thing to do?
He has to man up to be a strong man
He has to be tough
*
Even though his anger has led him
Into many destructive situations
When he has hurt others
*
Sometimes he feels out of control
As if his anger drives him to hurt others, and hurt, and hurt, and hurt them some more
*
He finds it hard to admit
That deep down, where he doesn’t dare look, where he’d be weak to look
He is hurting too
*
He allows himself to feel the hurt a little
He acknowledges the little boy within
Who had an angry dad
As his dad was angry before him
*
He walks through the house
And allows himself to remember
How strong he was expected to be
How scared he was
*
He sits at the kitchen table
He drinks tea and eats his favourite childhood cake
*
He cries
And through the tears he takes some time with that little boy
And feels the pain that always lies below anger
He feels this enough to feel some relief
*
He allows himself to feel what that little boy felt
He feels it all through his body
It hurts
*
He lets it hurt and he sobs
He lets the tears and snot flow
He’s vulnerable
*
And for once he doesn’t mind
He starts to feel cleansed
And, as he lets himself be vulnerable
There’s something else in there
Could it be love?
*
When he chose what he thought was being strong
There was no love, simply pain and something cold within
*
By opening to his anger
And that which lies beneath
There’s still pain
That now he sees is the doorway
To his inner well of love
*
He sees that anger can become the doorway to passion
To bring in love, not hate
By doing good instead of harm
*
He reaches out and holds hands with
His anger
His passion
His love
His future
*
It won’t be the future he expected
And his anger
And now his grieving for that little boy,
Gives him opportunities
He never imagined
