Waiting
I’ve just posted this on Substack:
Yesterday I travelled into London, very early for me, to carry out a piece of work that had been commissioned by a client. I met my contact from the client’s team for a briefing at a local café, after which we were due to go on to the job when the team was ready for me. As the hours went by my contact was getting updates, and it was becoming clearer that things weren’t going to plan; finally the delays turned into the cancellation of the job, including the part I was due carry out.
Having got over the shock of such an early start (and giving feedback that I really didn’t need to be that early even if things had gone to plan) I was able to accept the situation and enjoy the alternative experience, helped by contact’s company and the fact that I was paid, so my time was acknowledged despite the failure of the job.
I turned the experience into the poem that follows.
I am startled awake by the alarm at 6.30
I’m on the train at 7.45 and arrive at the café at 9.30
I wait
The person I am meeting arrives
We wait
After 7 hours, and many calls from her to base
We move to another café
Where finally she is told
The work I was hired to do
Is cancelled
*
I reflect on how, once
I would have reacted to this
Badly!
I would have kicked off
And demanded an explanation!!
And someone to blame
*
Now I am aware of my emotions
Anger linked with frustration
Grief at the loss of an experience I was looking forward to
Pleasure that I spent much of the time
In the company of someone interesting and interested
Which means that much of the time was pleasant conversation
Though a bit of anxiety pops up that
As a man more than twice her age
I might have bored her
Though she says not
Asking questions that show she is interested
And engaged
*
I’ve also been paid
So my time
Albeit wasted from my client’s perspective
Has been recognised
*
As I head home I realise
How I no longer need to know
What led to what
That led to
The cancellation
I do not need to seek an explanation
And someone to blame
*
I am happy at how I have learnt
To go with the flow
In a way that lets me see
The opportunity in every experience
That the previous me would have missed
In his reaction
*
And I’m grateful
