A Practice for Epiphany

We’re in the Christian Church season called Epiphany, which for those who believe is about God’s revelation of himself (very male language) in the man called Jesus who is recognised in Christianity as the Christ.

Another type of epiphany is an Aha moment, not about revealing what God might be up to, but scientific, logical and rational. This is putting two and two together in a way that is so exciting it might have felt like five, but in the cold light of logic was a four that no one had noticed before.

This post is about a third sort of epiphany that is personal, ongoing, probably emotional, certainly challenging, and that defies the sort of understanding or explanation that the mind seeks. This is probably not a dramatic moment, but a learning that emerges from practice that includes being mindful and kind and being open to heart for new possibilities.

It takes time and practice because this epiphany needs an approach that does not come naturally, as illustrated by this story.

A disciple asks a rabbi “Why does the Torah tell us to ‘place the holy words upon your hearts?’ Why does it not tell us to place the holy words in our hearts?” The rabbi answers “It is because, as we are, our hearts are closed and we cannot place them in our hearts. So we place them on top of our hearts, and there they stay until, one day, our heart melts and the words fall in”.

The mind wants to fix stuff; instead of that, practice provides a different way of approaching anything that presents as a problem; it helps us shift from a, probably negative, reaction to a kinder way of being with a problem. And in there will be the epiphany, the learning, the opportunity to change a bit, as the kinder words fall into your heart and become part of you.

Please listen to the practice I’ve posted with this, and here’s the transcript.

We’re in the Christian Church season called Epiphany, which for those who believe is about God’s revelation of himself (very male language) in the man called Jesus who is recognised in Christianity as the Christ.

Another type of epiphany is an Aha moment, not about revealing what God might be up to, but scientific, logical and rational. This is putting two and two together in a way that is so exciting it might have felt like five, but in the cold light of logic was a four that no one had noticed before.

This post is about a third sort of epiphany that is personal, ongoing, probably emotional, certainly challenging, and that defies the sort of understanding or explanation that the mind seeks. This is probably not a dramatic moment, but a learning that emerges from practice that includes being mindful and kind and being open to heart for new possibilities.

It takes time and practice because this epiphany needs an approach that does not come naturally, as illustrated by this story.

A disciple asks a rabbi “Why does the Torah tell us to ‘place the holy words upon your hearts?’ Why does it not tell us to place the holy words in our hearts?” The rabbi answers “It is because, as we are, our hearts are closed and we cannot place them in our hearts. So we place them on top of our hearts, and there they stay until, one day, our heart melts and the words fall in”.

The mind wants to fix stuff; instead of that, practice provides a different way of approaching anything that presents as a problem; it helps us shift from a, probably negative, reaction to a kinder way of being with a problem. And in there will be the epiphany, the learning, the opportunity to change a bit, as the kinder words fall into your heart and become part of you.

Please listen to the practice I’ve posted with this (I recorded it for a meeting, which is reflected in some of the language). I don’t want you to end up stuck with anything you reflect on, or you might like to go a bit deeper about something that’s more significant troubling you. If either are true please email john@johnquill.co.uk, and we can set up a Zoom and do the practice in a deeper and more personal way. Please don’t sit alone with anything, and even if a few weeks go by and something comes up you’d like to look at with me, drop me that email.

With mindful compassion

John

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Here’s the practice and below is the transcript

Please close your eyes if you’re happy to do that and feel your bottom on the seat and feel your feet on the floor and feel your back being supported by the seat and settle yourself in, allowing yourself to almost sink a bit into the chair, into the ground to help you arrive into a settled, quiet place for this short while.

Notice, to help you do this, your breathing. Notice the way your breath is coming in and going out, keeping you going. You don’t need to do anything. The breath is simply there as your friend to help you be present with this practice. And know that you’re in a safe space. Know that you can take a little bit of a chance with what we’re doing, to maybe find out something new that might be going on for you.

Now turn your attention to some problem in your life, something that troubles you a bit - not the biggest thing in your life, rather something that would score about 5 out of 10, something that niggles you, that causes a bit of a reaction in you. It might be something that you do, it might be something someone else does that annoys you or makes you anxious or sad. It might be regular and very present; it might be something from your past that pops up sometimes, something you learnt about how you’re supposed to behave.

Whatever it is, turn towards it and notice what’s going on for you. There’s probably something emotional, there might be a body sensation; knowing that you’re quite safe as we do this, notice what you’re thinking, are there any judgments you make about yourself or someone else? What do you actually think? Are the thoughts positive or negative? What’s your internal dialogue right now and at times when this happens? You might be resisting, you might be trying to push all this away, you might be trying to hide.

It might not feel like it, but all this stuff has something to teach us. And to help learn what that might be, imagine that you are gently placing whatever’s going on on to your heart. Your heart has had a lot of practice being closed to this, so you can’t get instant access, but you can place this on your heart. Remember to do this gently and with kindness. You may have been carrying this for some time.

Now, if you’re willing, I invite you to place a hand physically over your heart space; this is giving yourself a hug, just as you would a friend or a child having a hard time. And say something kind to yourself, in a gentle and friendly voice, just as you would to a friend or child: This hurts; I’m here for you; Please take care of yourself. Something that you need to hear when things are tricky for you. Repeat the words several times.

And breathe, keeping it gentle and kind.

And when you’re ready, let go of the practice, and bring yourselves back into this meeting and each other.

Now that isn’t going to fix anything, it hasn’t taken away whatever the issue is that you were considering; what it does is give you a different way of approaching anything that presents as a problem by shifting from a, probably negative, reaction to a kinder way of being with the problem. And in there will be the epiphany, the learning, the opportunity to change a bit, as the kinder words fall into your heart and become part of you.