A deeper look at anxiety

Unless you’re an incredibly confident person, anxiety is probably something you experience at least some of the time, and possibly all of the time; it can feel as if it’s overwhelming you and holding you back, dragging you down just when you need to step forward into something new.

Well let me tell you something that might surprise you; anxiety is your friend and really, really wants to help you. However anxiety doesn’t always offer the best advice, and can get in quite a muddle by trying to outguess things in the future that might not actually happen. Hence that sensation of overwhelm and being dragged down.

Looking ahead

Anxiety’s job is to look ahead and help you avoid situations that might harm you. However it’s a bit too risk-averse and would rather you simply stay at home and under the duvet; that would be a safe life, but very limited and certainly not the best life you can live. In order to live your best life you need to take some risks, and put up with some stuff that anxiety does not want for you.

Taking the train

Here’s an example. I took a train journey recently. That in itself is very risky from anxiety’s perspective and it came up with lots of reasons for not going; however I wanted to go to a friend’s birthday celebration, and I wanted to travel with another friend. When we got to the train it was packed because the previous two trains had been cancelled so I was surrounded by people, there was a screaming child, as well as a raucous group of young men not far away! It was ninety minutes of agony, never mind what I might have caught in terms of germs and viruses!!

Anxiety had plenty to say about that and, without the mindful and compassionate approach I now practice, I would have boiled over in some way and quite likely have had something like a panic attack. Instead I could use the tools to recognise why anxiety was, well, anxious and I could sit with that feeling rather than try to fix things (not that there was much I could do!). 

Immediate tips

Next time anxiety is around for you I invite you to acknowledge it and ask yourself: What’s going on that means that anxiety is worrying and trying to keep me safe? That immediately gives you more choices than you’d have otherwise. Maybe it’s a meeting that has its challenges: one choice might be not to attend the meeting; another choice might be to prepare really well for the meeting; another choice might be to attend without being too attached to the outcome. It will all vary depending on the meeting and its purpose.

If you can remember to do this anxiety will have done a good job by helping you take a step back and make the best choice. While it might still prefer that you stay at home under the duvet, you can make the best choice to make the most of the meeting or whatever else is going on, such as my train journey!

Travel well with help from anxiety…