What are your values and activities
You can listen to the beginning of this on Substack.
There’s an exercise I do as part of the Mindful Self-compassion course that takes a look at the core values that are important to someone, and the core activities that can flow from those values. I wonder what yours are? The exercise also takes a look at obstacles that are around, not to feel told off or bad, but to acknowledge realities, and bring some self-compassion to yourself as you face the obstacles. The exercise then provides the chance to write down a statement of intent. This combines values with activities that reflect the values; an example might be “May I express compassion in all my relationships”. Now, that will be tricky if not impossible to practice all the time. However, it becomes an intention of how you want to live your best possible life, whenever you can.
If you’d like to give this a go you can listen to the recording here. It doesn’t include writing the statement, though I hope you get the idea (and please ignore the transcript that I haven’t tidied up).
I’ve written some more in this post that I won’t record though I will include here a quote from Sez Kristiansen that I include in what I write: The wisdom found at the end of life is the very map we are meant to begin with. So [as you approach the new year] feeling the familiar pull to make resolutions and finally change your life — pause — place a hand upon your heart — feel gravity’s soft pull upon your bones…What if we remembered that none of this is something to achieve or add to some checklist. Rather, it is already here, requiring only a little attention, a small step back, a gentle noticing.
These reflections started with a January post from Sez in which she wrote:
If we will all meet that final breath, what is all of this for - if not for love? If not for surrender? Why not live this way now, while we still have breath, time, and one another?
If we are fortunate, we will meet “death” many times before we die. In loss, in illness, in endings we did not choose, we glimpse its wild eyes and are changed. But do we live that transformation, or do we become distracted once again by bright new things?
The wisdom found at the end of life is the very map we are meant to begin with.
So [as you approach the new year] feeling the familiar pull to make resolutions and finally change your life — pause — place a hand upon your heart — feel gravity’s soft pull upon your bones…
What if this year the deepest transformation is not about improving your identity, but about seeing it for the innocent mask it is? What if we end the pursuit of better or more “spiritual” thoughts, and no longer take any thought as “me” or “mine,” allowing the sacredness of our being to reveal itself? What if freedom is not found in rising above, but in rooting deeply into what is here - allowing everything that is felt to pass through like wind over soil, without claiming it, resisting it, or making it personal?
And what if we remembered that none of this is something to achieve or add to some checklist - that it is already here, requiring only a little attention, a small step back, a gentle noticing.
Here are two examples of how I judge that society, in so many ways, doesn’t pay any attention to what truly matters, and so much has money as the driver and not the human heart. I hope this post might help you explore an alternative route to what truly matters for you.
In this example a young academic asks on a podcast: “What’s it about that we end up on this planet and we’re expected to work for 40/50 hours a week for 40/50 years to earn money so we can buy stuff, and then we die?” She’s arguing the case for free higher education to maximise the opportunities for young people to stretch themselves, rather than having to buy an education, end up with a huge debt, and still find it hard to get a job, to earn money, to buy stuff!
In another podcast a couple of economists were making the case for tackling inequality in our UK society and throughout the world. One proposal is to change the way utilities are provided and paid for. The current method of paying for them via the private companies that “own” these essential items means, as we’ve seen, excessive profits and poor service. Even if this were not the case, it still means that comparatively poorer families pay a comparatively larger portion of their income than better off families. The proposal then becomes to provide utilities as a matter of right to everyone, and pay for them in a way that is more proportionate to the means of families. I remember when we were charged in direct proportion to rates (the predecessor to council tax); this meant that those with larger properties using more would pay more.
John x
