Keeping it gentle

Here’s my latest Substack post.

For those of you who might have been waiting with baited breath to know what decision I made about a car, I thought I'd just tell you that I have made a decision. I'm buying a nearly new electric car, with a little finance deal that includes a charger. And I'm glad about that. I'm pleased with that. No more sleepless nights, I hope, as regards cars for me, or I hope for you just in case you're worrying on my behalf. 

And I hope you know that was tongue-in-cheek, and it's important sometimes I believe to have a lighter moment. Moments when we can just enjoy things, rather than what some of us might do, and I certainly do very quickly, and worry about things. 

I also continue to remind myself to hold it gently, which is a big theme of mine recently, isn't it? Hold it gently, whatever it is; hold it gently and, when I do manage to remember to do that, it does make a difference.

I also need to remind myself that, although that makes a difference at one level, at another level it doesn't make a difference at all. It doesn't make a difference to what I might be worrying about; however, it makes a difference to how I deal with it. 

And why do I do it? I do it, not to feel better, I do it because I feel bad. And I hope you find that a really helpful concept. Intuitively it doesn't feel quite right does it? I want to feel better. And the truth is that nothing will suddenly make us feel better.

However, if we can use the sort of practice I talk about, and many of you will be doing anyway, if you can learn to hold it gently, be mindful and compassionate around worries; it's important to do that because we feel bad, because it's a way of helping us not to get stuck when we’re feeling bad

We might not leap to feeling good. However, the practice does help us not get stuck, helps me not get stuck in the difficult emotions of the tricky stuff. I commend to you the idea of holding things gently not to suddenly feel better, but because you feel bad.

This is a different way of processing stuff and dealing with stuff than the way that the more animal instinctive side of us wants to deal with stuff. So whether it's a car, or the climate, or a relationship issue, or something at work, hold it, hold it as gently as you can. And that will give you a different route into how you are with it. As I like to say, it creates a different relationship with the tricky stuff, and a lot of that tricky stuff actually has something to teach us I believe.

There we are. I hope that's a bit helpful today. Take care everybody. 

Lots of love from John.